So, 2017 has not started very well at all.
Today I was due to see be at the mental health services; but a letter arrived from them today (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😡), saying due to unforseen circumstances that I couldn’t do. It’s been put back to the 8th of February.
Initially it was meant to be the 4th of January, then they pushed it back to the 11th in December; and then today happened. Just unbelievable really. I haven’t seen them since October.
Because of how low my mood gets and how I feel most of the time, having a gap of 4 months is too much. It’s already bad enough that I feel a complete outsider in a world full of billions of people. Now the people that are meant to help you make you feel even more alone. After reading it I went to bed with tears in my eyes.
I really needed to go because my mood since Christmas hasn’t been great. An awful lot of nightmares since November and I feel like I’ve been living in a daze for the last few weeks. Physically fine; but mentally I’ve checked out of conversations and forgetting stuff way too easily. Plus other personal things which are too personal for here.
Hopefully the counselling session will be next week. I desperately need to get stuff off my chest and that’s the only person I have as an option at the moment.
Things need to get better soon because I feel like nothing is or will ever go right again today.